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Afraid of What’s Next

4 August 20199 min read

Were you to ask me if I was afraid of what’s next, and I had no time to prepare or think, I would simply answer, ‘no’. After reading an endless cornucopia of personal development books, I know that there are no good or bad events. Our reaction determines the outcome.

Now, as I embark on the journey to start a network marketing business, I have found that I am afraid of what’s next. It appears to be an underlying current that is always there. The times I thought I had overcome the fear, I was just swimming above it.

And that is where I’m seeing hope, today. If I read an encouraging book or post in the morning, and surround myself (virtually) with positive people who are achieving their goals throughout the day, and listen to podcasts from these same kinds of individuals in the evening, I feel invigorated. My mood stays at a steady forward-moving state.

However, if I miss one of these steps, or listen to the voices of my past, I am on a fast trip to depression and self-doubt. I think that is why so many of us (myself still included) choose the 9-5 job cycle. I still have self-doubt at my main gig; doubt about my skills to overcome the next challenge, to collaborate well and provide value. But those are smoothed with the knowledge that, even if I have a bad day, I will make a set amount of money that day. It’s comfort and security. Sort of.

Holograms to Distract from Fear

Regular paychecks are glorious. And approaching each day with the knowledge that I have a steady gig gives me a level of comfort and security for which I am grateful. I had a boss one time who leaned out into the open office environment form his office and shouted, with his thick Arkansas accent, “Y’all are all freelancers with a full-time gig. It can go at anytime. Remember that!”

I don’t have to be afraid of what’s next with a full-time gig. I pretty much know what is coming. Until I don’t! I’ve been “resourced” in the past and I was at a massive company with plenty of money coming in. One place I worked had a toxic individual who played people through manipulation and flat-out domination. I asked senior leadership for help and their response was, “Well, I haven’t seen that from them! And the client loves them!” So, not an emergency situation, but, I had to get out.

It is in this way that full-time gigs remind me of holograms. They sit in front of us and provide a mindset to us so that we can ignore the fear. And ignore it I do! Until the undercurrent reveals itself when I stop swimming. (I need to go find a lake and get in some water. All this swimming talk is making my land-locked self desperate for water. 🤣)

Reasons to be Afraid

I find it easy to see the reasons to be afraid. If you are freelancing, or a solopreneur/entreprenuer, etc., the task of finding income, delivering value, building relationships, networking with like-minded individuals is all on you. And without any “guarantee” of money changing hands. It is a faith-based business. You have to have faith in yourself and the world around you to respond to your offering.

There’s your fear! The loneliness of the path and the feeling of responsibility are heavy on this journey. When that realization hits, fear is a natural result. And so I can understand why I’m afraid of what’s next.

I’m fortunate to be working on launching a business on my nights and weekends with a regular income from my main gig. And pouring myself into my main gig is still the work of each day. I show up, wherever I am.

But what’s next in my side gig? It’s all on me. I have to make connections, approach strangers (in person and virtually), and be vulnerable. Could you imagine applying for a job that had that description:

Wanted: an individual to connect with strangers, be vulnerable, and be prepared for the limited interaction to end in rejection most of the time. And in this case, rejection means not being able to help someone and no money.

Would you apply to that gig? Umm, I would not.

It Really is a Mindset

In order to resist being afraid of what’s next, I need to keep my mind right. My default is to think about my life as follows.

My Default Job Mindset

“I have a full-time gig during the days where I go to an office, interact with intelligent and motivated colleagues. I receive financial compensation for my work. At the end of two weeks, a paycheck will be deposited into my bank. I am safe there.”

“Also, I want to start a business where I have control over my time and to where I direct my energies. It will be hard, because I don’t like approaching strangers. I grew up in a religious culture that tipped the scales on what was acceptable social behavior in order to tell someone your story. It felt terrible and I still can feel that pain in specific places inside my body. When I think about it, I don’t know how this will ever work.”

My Considered Job Mindset

“I have a full-time gig, for which I am grateful. The schedule can be flexible, which is a game-changer. There are a number of things (events, procedures, unspoken expectations) that are natural to this gig and others like it that wear me out. I love the people and the opportunity. However, I am aware of the ways these things grind the life out of me in a slow and sustained manner.”

“Also, I want to start a business where I have control over my time and to where I direct my energies. I have the opportunity to change, completely, how I think about other people. To have ideas and products that can help people feel better and live their lives well. I can build relationships in the manner that feel the most authentic to me. And I can trust that this work will be smiled upon and rewarded. Every step of my life, as I look back on it, has the mark of benevolence from a place that is bigger than me. I get to choose my path. And I want to grow, to help, to serve. I have found my path.”

Not Afraid

I choose the second mindset; the considered one. When I feel the doubt, I choose to remind myself to keep swimming. To listen to those who are trusting and seeing the results of self-love and perseverance. I choose to not be afraid.

And I hope, that as you feel afraid, that you will join me. I want us to encourage each other. Do the thing inside of you that feels scary and necessary. I’ll be here for you.

Tagged In:#mindset,

31 August 2018By Wes

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